Up until Wednesday I’ve never had a gun pulled on me. It was less exciting then I’d imagined it be. Hopefully next time will be better.
I’ve always thought solving crimes was very close to creating the solution to a magic problem or figuring out how a trick was or could be done. You take the final effect or crime and slowly work your way backwards until you come to the start. Along the way there are usually clues, false leads and lots of questions. What if we do this? What if this happened?
Watching CSI you could get a romantic notion that crime scene investigations are treated with the same great care that the creation of an illusion is treated with. Wednesday, lots of my own personal illusions were shattered. As well as the front door to the office.
I wandered up to the office Wednesday morning, the first to arrive and saw that the glass on the door to our office was shattered through. My first thought was that someone forgot their key and was anxious to get started on the work of the day. With extreme care I slowly stepped through the cracked out door frame and looked around.
This is where I got a bit confused. My computer was still there. The package that FedEx left for our next door neighbors was still there. All the magic DVD’s we have stocked in the office all seemed to be untouched. So strange.
I took in the scene again and quickly found that the flat screen monitor in the other office was missing. Things were starting to make more sense. After all, it was a pretty nifty screen, speakers included. I went online with the other computer to look up the police department phone number. I’ve since been informed that the proper thing to do is call 911. I’ve also been informed that you should probably call 911 before you enter the scene of an alleged crime (the investigation isn’t over and I don’t want to assume anything, it could’ve been an angry squirrel or something). The emergency people don’t want you contaminating the evidence or the crime scene and you never know if the perp (I used this word a lot when talking about what happened that day) is still at the scene. We’re talking hostage crisis situation stuff.
Which leads me to the next point in the story. I’m trying to look up the number to 911 (duh) and I hear glass crunching in the entrance. I tip toe out there with the phone in my hand and a Sheriff is holding his gun out.
My first silly instinct is to yell “Put the gun down!” which is something I also learned after the fact not to do. When someone other than you is holding a gun it’s best to let them do the bossing around. Unless you have a bigger gun. I didn’t, I had a cordless phone.
Surprisingly the Sheriff put his gun back in his holster and looked a little nervous. I quickly explained to him that I worked here.
“Sir, slowly put the phone down and don’t make any sudden moves,” he said to me. I complied and he asked to see my key to the office. I found it and showed him that it worked on the door. Which was really dumb on both of our parts because we could have really contaminated the crime scene.
After some small talk and exchanging of pleasantries he explained to me that CSI would be coming out here. And that 8 other offices in our complex had also been hit. Because I’ve watched too much CSI I asked him lots of really over dramatic questions like:
“Recognize the MO?”
“What are the chances of catching these perps?”
“Do you have an alibi for last night?”
I asked the last question because just like he thought I could have been a perp still at the scene of the crime it was also possible that he could be a very smart perp who robbed places and then showed up at the scene of the crime dressed like a Sheriff to delay the investigation and contaminate the scene of the crime. Something like it happened in Season 4 I think.
I was told to stay out of the office that had the missing monitor because CSI was going to come down later in the day to secure the scene and take prints. This was great news. I couldn’t wait to pick the brains of a real CSI team. And I’m sure they couldn’t wait to meet me either.
We waited all day for CSI to come. They showed up around 4 in the afternoon. To my disappointment CSI turned out to be a cop with a little duster type thingie and a flashlight.
“What do you think they might have touched?” he asked me. This guy didn’t even use the word perp. I was suspicious. He was certainly no Gil Grissom.
And he couldn’t even lift any prints from the place. With his low tech equipment I wasn’t really too surprised. This guy didn’t even try to take any DNA samples. Or hook me or any of the other victims up to a polygraph. Were they not even going to explore the option that this was an inside job?
Someone came by and temporarily fixed the door by nailing another door over it. CSI wannabe guy left. The door was restored. The monitor was gone. And somewhere out there some perps were laughing about how they fooled us with a different kind of magic then I’m used to.
But like I said, magic and unsolved crimes can often be very similar. You can’t perform a trick and leave no clues. Someone, somewhere will eventually reverse engineer the trick. With that kind of tenacity maybe I can crack this case open. Wide open. And bring the perps to justice.
If not then at least I can try to come up with a way to use that fingerprint dust that’s all over the office for a magic trick….